im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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