Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
