Duck Duck Cougar?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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