I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize