I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
