she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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