Ambien. No doubt about it.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
We need to rekindle our bromance
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
