Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We were destined to go to rehab together
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
