That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt