Texts From Last Night

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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I'll just stay a virgin forever then

  (1-856): View more from New Jersey

  You still have to go anyway

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around

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  (856): I'll just stay a virgin forever then (1-856): You still have to go anyway (856): Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around http://tfl.nu/rkrx
  Replies (5) Good night (983) Bad night (364)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone

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  (708): Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone http://tfl.nu/40xl
  Replies (58) Good night (572) Bad night (3351) Order T-Shirt
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  (44): View more from United Kingdom

  Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?

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  (44): Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash? http://tfl.nu/dolq
  Replies (34) Good night (3886) Bad night (1552) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her

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  (780): I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her http://tfl.nu/1b2q
  Replies (22) Good night (921) Bad night (8057) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.

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  (973): Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again. http://tfl.nu/gz8q
  Replies (22) Good night (1253) Bad night (6077) Order T-Shirt
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  (+06): View more from

  We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.

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  (+06): We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away. http://tfl.nu/dvn1
  Replies (13) Good night (6226) Bad night (880) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink

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  (305): he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink http://tfl.nu/w0ij
  Replies (12) Good night (7055) Bad night (985) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.

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  (248): i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it. http://tfl.nu/5a93
  Replies (5) Good night (2238) Bad night (822) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid

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  (978): im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid http://tfl.nu/59ax
  Replies (8) Good night (672) Bad night (1900)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.

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  (817): Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday. http://tfl.nu/w47f
  Replies (9) Good night (2682) Bad night (640) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.

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  (720): She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that. http://tfl.nu/2gzq
  Replies (15) Good night (355) Bad night (1480) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.

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  (503): Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them. http://tfl.nu/c1rb
  Replies (12) Good night (1153) Bad night (386) Order T-Shirt
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.

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  (605): Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised. http://tfl.nu/r6ni
  Replies (12) Good night (434) Bad night (855) Order T-Shirt
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control

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  (216): i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control http://tfl.nu/rhtt
  Replies (3) Good night (335) Bad night (581)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha

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  (774): My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha http://tfl.nu/naia
  Replies (16) Good night (442) Bad night (1873) Order T-Shirt

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