Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.

(320): View more from Minnesota

Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.

(916): View more from California

It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.

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(916): If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige. (320): Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop. (916): It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area. http://tfl.nu/1pkh

Replies (28) Good night (1688) Bad night (2423)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky

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(604): People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky http://tfl.nu/clbn

Replies (90) Good night (8179) Bad night (1408)
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(303): View more from Colorado

dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.

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(303): dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0. http://tfl.nu/gdax

Replies (35) Good night (6275) Bad night (1067)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Walk of Shame time yet?

(1+44): View more from

Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?

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(+44): Walk of Shame time yet? (1+44): Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling? http://tfl.nu/qcn9

Replies (44) Good night (19246) Bad night (1844)
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(256): View more from Alabama

He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.

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(256): He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m. http://tfl.nu/vqeg

Replies (9) Good night (866) Bad night (2261)
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(352): View more from Florida

You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.

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(352): You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time. http://tfl.nu/k82l

Replies (10) Good night (2541) Bad night (779)
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(714): View more from California

I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.

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(714): I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished. http://tfl.nu/d04x

Replies (12) Good night (5231) Bad night (617)
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(434): View more from Virginia

On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?

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(434): On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am? http://tfl.nu/gml1

Replies (5) Good night (1121) Bad night (698)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success

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(505): Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success http://tfl.nu/y0qf

Replies (0) Good night (1186) Bad night (388)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?

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(717): there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right? http://tfl.nu/jd9g

Replies (2) Good night (868) Bad night (390)
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(574): View more from Indiana

Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly

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(574): Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly http://tfl.nu/0015

Replies (2) Good night (629) Bad night (438)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...

(931): View more from Tennessee

And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?

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(615): You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass... (931): And you wonder why you're always one of the guys? http://tfl.nu/4fld

Replies (1) Good night (856) Bad night (373)
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(708): View more from Illinois

Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.

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(708): Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry. http://tfl.nu/gvhn

Replies (0) Good night (679) Bad night (313)
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(443): View more from Maryland

So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina

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(443): So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina http://tfl.nu/qg34

Replies (9) Good night (189) Bad night (813)
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(801): View more from Utah

I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt

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(801): I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt http://tfl.nu/mvv0

Replies (0) Good night (251) Bad night (138)

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