That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished