Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I think I died a long time ago.

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  (203): I think I died a long time ago. http://tfl.nu/eygn
  Replies (4) Good night (1014) Bad night (837)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.

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  (918): Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted. (918): And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail. http://tfl.nu/06cg
  Replies (4) Good night (624) Bad night (1655)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra

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  (717): im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra http://tfl.nu/5ubo
  Replies (25) Good night (1036) Bad night (3802)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.

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  (570): If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid. http://tfl.nu/ujtp
  Replies (16) Good night (881) Bad night (3509)
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  (914): View more from New York

  last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.

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  (914): last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever. http://tfl.nu/26l9
  Replies (23) Good night (7260) Bad night (884)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Are you with Adam and his vodka?

  (1-516): View more from New York

  Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued

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  (516): Are you with Adam and his vodka? (1-516): Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued http://tfl.nu/0qde
  Replies (29) Good night (4271) Bad night (642)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite

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  (248): remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite http://tfl.nu/a8vx
  Replies (24) Good night (3781) Bad night (695)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge

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  (203): just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge http://tfl.nu/b456
  Replies (10) Good night (1059) Bad night (6915)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.

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  (917): My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked. http://tfl.nu/yy4v
  Replies (16) Good night (4546) Bad night (976)
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  (347): View more from New York

  it's been a while because I don't count the hooker

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  (347): it's been a while because I don't count the hooker http://tfl.nu/ahgm
  Replies (10) Good night (815) Bad night (3145)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless

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  (703): if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless http://tfl.nu/r1y7
  Replies (4) Good night (1242) Bad night (691)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.

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  (905): Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now. http://tfl.nu/gjj1
  Replies (4) Good night (652) Bad night (2827)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening

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  (630): he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening http://tfl.nu/ov5q
  Replies (2) Good night (532) Bad night (1062)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka

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  (919): Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka http://tfl.nu/78jn
  Replies (4) Good night (759) Bad night (285)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.

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  (405): In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win. http://tfl.nu/zkyh
  Replies (4) Good night (648) Bad night (277)

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