My hand turned me down
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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