Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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