it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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