chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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