You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
