I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
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