Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
