Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
