Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
