# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i just google imaged poop.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
