We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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