Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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