batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
