I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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