how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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