Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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