Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
