I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
