do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
