I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
