Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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