bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The beer is more important than you right now.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
