do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize