She said her name was "party"
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
