Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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