She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize