i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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