We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
