I am in a vortex of obligation.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
