At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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