This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Is Oprah even human
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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