Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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