when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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