It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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