a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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