i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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