just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
