Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
