proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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