Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
