I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
