KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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