2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
