Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
