would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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