their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
