Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
