I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
