and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
