i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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