yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I looked at my own cervix.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
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you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
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We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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