the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
